Musings

Though life, admittedly, is still ambivalent for me at this point, there are thoughts and what-ifs that have been playing in my mind for the past few months, giving me the zest to mull over things related to what I want to be in the not-so-distant future*.

These musings, however, are also erratic at times, and vary depending on the circumstances that I am in. But perhaps, what is more important here is that I somehow try to trace the present dots of my life and connect them to my future, making it easier for me to chart whatever plans I want to take.

Definitely, being a writer is in the frontline of my list. However, I am aware that I still need to learn a dearth of things in literature as well as the techniques in writing.

Being a writer in the future also brings me to my second goal, which is to be a teacher or a professor or an instructor--whatever you call it! This, nevertheless, sounds a bit off to my father's ears, since he's aware of how teachers are being paid and treated in the Philippines. And he almost raged in anger when he learned that I want to teach in the UP---as if teaching won't do me any good, for Christ's sake! The prestige of the University didn't help me at all in making him realize that being an instructor in UP means a lot.

You know how fathers act: they think of all the possible kinds of careers for their children, and try to give them all the pieces of advice that they think are beneficial for you. Perhaps, on my father's part, he acts this way because he has always dreamed of having a child who'll end up as a lawyer or a doctor or a corporate leader, who's earning hundreds of thousands monthly (which is difficult nowadays, by the way). This I understand fully, and that his intentions of thinking such are great. But sorry, his son dreams of another dream, far different from what his ego tells him.

My father and my grandfather even talked to me once, both asking me to enter Law School after finishing my undergraduate degree. They broached the idea of me being the lawyer so that there "will be a lawyer in the family" who "will defend the clan in court whenever the need arises." Not only they put the pressure on my shoulders, but they also try to shun my goal of having a Master's Degree after my four-year course in college.

Yes, I want to have an MA degree--in Speech Communication or in Media Ethics or in Creative Writing or in Comparative Literature--and eventually teach in college, particularly in UP. Having an MA degree, I am aware, does not only elevate you to a higher status in the academe, but it also augments whatever amount of salary you'd be able to receive. A Doctorate degree is also in line, but since it will first take much time, effort and knowledge on the craft that you are working on before having the opportunity of getting one, I opt not to delve on this goal yet.

The list goes on and on. I think it's just natural to yearn for more achievements in life, not to mention more money in your own (and several) bank account(s). And while I dwell with a myriad of thoughts and interests as of the moment, the game plan for having a family in the future is still far-fetched. Besides, I believe that people of my generation nowadays are more interested, first and foremost, of shaping their personal careers as members of the work force, rather than, say, settling down and having a family of their own.

During my personal talks with myself at night--or whenever I find time to converse with the 'self'--I realize that life has a lot of things to offer, and that it has a number of goodness in store for me (and for you as well). That every moment in our life is significant, and that our present sacrifices can either be our future's gain or loss. Life is harsh--I agree; but life, on the other hand, is pleasant in its full essence.

A motley of great possibilities in life is stored for us. Just don't let your dreams die; make them realized! The process of dreaming is an easy, uncomplicated one. What's difficult to do is the act of making those dreams into reality. And that's one thing that we should really, really be prepared for, and something that we have to take seriously. Just always bear in mind that the will to dream big is important, but the will to make it real is vital.

It may sound trite, but it's true: Nobody can, or has the right to, take our bag of dreams away from us. Surely it is only in our hearts and minds where our dreams are formed, and it is only when we stop thinking of them where they can be destroyed.